Ok, I had a couple good weeks with worksets, now I'm frustrated again.
This time with wall joins, we have exterior wall on and exterior workset, interior walls on an interior workset and I can't get them to align, clean up or behave at all correctly.
I'm sending my file to revit, but if anyone has ideas let me know, I've pulled the walls away rejoined them and if revit doesn't crash it does something strange.