I can certainly concede to the notion it’s incredibly difficult to talk about BIM without also talking about software. Doing that would be like talking about the use of a hammer without mentioning its use in construction.
While software will ultimately serve a place in your BIM solution, your BIM solution/workflow should not be defined by software alone. My point here, just because you spent the time to model your latest project in 3D using Revit, doesn’t automatically mean you have created a BIM model.
So what separates 3D models from BIM models?
Ultimately it boils down to the way you choose to use the model itself. If the sole reason you create 3D models is to make it easier to produce elevations, cut cross sections, and create plan sheets, we’ll the BIM bus just left you in its dust.
BIM is the PROCESS of using your 3D model to better collaborate with other disciplines, rapidly explore multiple design alternatives, analyzing and reducing your projects environmental impact, etc. BIM is about using your model to ask what if, and being able to get the answer before it completely derails the project budget.
What if the civil engineers moved the parking lot 5’ away from the building? Would that reduce the radiant heat penetrating the building enough to reduce the overall HVAC load?
What if you adjusted the placement of your windows? Would that allow more natural light to enter the building such that fewer lights would be required?
What if you replaced that gypsum wall with a glass wall? Would that allow natural light to travel further into the building?
What if the mechanical engineer has to increase the size of the supply duct? Does it still fit in the space provided by the architect?
While I could certainly go on with the questions, I sense you’re starting to get the idea. To summarize, your BIM solution is YOU, and the way YOU choose to use the models you create, not the software itself.